Plot:
New York movie critic Mitch Berger goes to sleepy New England Dorset and falls in love with a secluded carriage house, where he plans to hide and grieve his wife's death. When there is a series of murders, surrounding Dorset's old moneyed elites, Mitch comes into contact with State Trooper Desiree Mitry, the highest ranking African American woman in the New England state police. They solve the mystery, fall in love, and Mitch's fool butt almost gets his ass killed!
This summer I decided to move away from all of the sci-fi, romance novels that I'd been consuming throughout the spring and move into mysteries. But not like creepy old man dead in the closet mysteries (I'll get to those soon enough), but cozy mysteries that are really interesting and fun to read, but not so much scary.
I started with Charlaine Harris' Real Murders.
Yea, you might remember her from the Sookie Stackhouse novels and True Blood. If you've read those novels then you know how quickly Harris becomes super annoying and the quality of the story begins to suffer. *cough*Dead and Gone*cough* She just has a way of turning okay characters into the most annoying people you could ever imagine reading. (By book 9 I hated Sookie almost as much as I hated Bella Swan). So I gave her Aurora Teagarden stories a try with more than a little trepidation. But, I have to say that the first and second books really weren't that bad. I'm currently going through that series (slowly) but I got sidetracked with Handler's Berger & Mitry mysteries.
The Cold Blue Blood by David Handler was recommended on a message board/interracial fiction site. The series focuses on the developing relationship between Mitch and Des and, in my opinion, an inordinate amount of murders in such a small New England town.
So why am I recommending it?
Honestly, this shit is hilarious. Somehow Handler has a way of writing two characters who are just real enough that you think you might know someone like them, but just odd enough that you might not.
Mitch is like a "real life" version of The Critic . Fat, Jewish, totally nerdy, and only the tiniest bit pathetic. And not bald (plus!).
Des... Oh I just don't know how to describe her, but I'd love to see how Handler envisioned her. But in a word, she's AWESOME! even though she talks kinda funny...
We all know that there are lots of foreign actors donning "American" accents on tv. Some people get all angsty about it, usually New Yorkers, oddly enough. I, however, think it's super freaking awesome. Especially the bad ones! Let' consider the players:
Alex O'Louglin: SEXY... oh, his accent... um, pretty decent actually, except sometimes you can tell that it's acting. Usually it's when he doesn't blend words together or cut off their endings in that very particular way that I love. It's hard to explain really. Well, that's not true. It's more like Americans are lazy (I mean this as a compliment) and "to" usually becomes "ta" as we blend it with the following or preceding words. So every time someone actually says "I want to go to the store" as opposed to "I wanta go..." they're either trying too hard or the accent is so fake... Either way, I love it.
Joseph Fiennes: Passable, mostly because he's doing the whole nondescript American accent that's always the easy way out in my opinion, but whatever.
Jonathan LaPaglia: Really good, but he has an odd way of speaking on Cold Case. It's not Boston. It's not New York. It's.... whatever, he's cute. It is what it is.
Yvonne Strahovski: Seriously... another Australian? (I kid I kid). Passable, but she does the kind of accent that you know isn't quite right but you put up with it anyway cause... well, fine... she's hot.
Jamie Bamber: He was damn good on BSG... Sure he had some slip ups every now and then, but very few as far as I could see. And he's hot. (Yes, there is a theme: Be pretty: no one cares if you sound like a muppet.)
On The L Word, Katherine Moennig was, quite possibly, the love of my life as sexy, horribly emaciated, womanizer Shane. When that show ended, very unsatisfactorily I might add, I despaired about getting my weekly Shane Katherine fix.
So of course I was excited when I saw that she was cast on Three Rivers as Dr. Miranda Foster, with the oh so motherphucken gorgeous Alex O'Loughlin of Moonlight fame. (Man, I miss that show!) The season premiere last week was... meh. Whatever. I wasn't surprised. I wasn't in love. And while this show is likely to make a second season it's almost certain that I'll only watch to drool over Alex. I'd hoped to salivate over Katherine as well until:
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH HER HAIR!?
Oh my god. I really have nothing else to say. No review of the show. No critiques really about the plot or acting. I can't even muster a huzzah! at the fabulous Alfre Woodard.
All I have to offer is a deep, heartfelt plea for the hair and makeup team on Three Rivers to fix this situation.
So I've taken a couple of tentative sips of the FlashForward kool-aid and I'll probably drink the rest of my cup. I like the show. I like the cast (Gabrielle Union AND Gina Torres showed up tonight *squee*). It works for me.
But as I was watching tonight I just kept looking at some of the characters and thinking "what the fuck!?"
Let me explain...
In the the second episode, the FBI starts trying to figure out why the blackout happened and what it means. They're working almost exclusively from Mark Benford's flash about his crazy idea/suspect/miscellaneous shit board. Yea, as you can tell I'm not a fan of that plot device. It's super annoying. But whatevers... So, the team is working off of the premise that if Mark encounters something that was on his board then it must be relevant to the Blackout. And as they encounter clues they put them on a board.
See where I'm heading?
Yea, they're building the fucking board that Max sees in his flash. So everything might not be pertinent, but they might have thought it was at one time or another. So it ended up on the board. *scratching head* Aren't they just willing the future to happen?
Ok, let me keep explaining...
The big drama from last week on has centered around the oh-so-sexy Agent Demetri Noh's (John Cho) admission that he didn't see anything in his flash. He takes that to mean that he's dead by then. This theory is only further strengthened when he meets another person who didn't have a flash who is then shot to death shortly thereafter. (ooops, spoiler alert) He's all aggro about that, and rightly so cause dying sorta sucks. But he gets even more angsty after he gets a call from a mysterious stranger (the sexy-voiced Shohreh Aghdashloo) who relays that, in her flash, she saw intelligence that he is murdered around a month before the date of the flash (April 29). Bummer dude.
But then tonight there's a twist. When Demetri is finally reunited with his fiancee Zoe (Union), she's dying to tell him about her vision. And when she does it's a doozy. (If by doozy I mean cute but a bit boring and not very clear at all). She tells him that she saw their wedding day on a beautiful beach in Hawaii. Awww! She's gorge dude. Sorry, back on track... She's all excited, 'cause it means they picked a date and their gettin' hitched.
Demetri asks "and you saw me?"
She answers "of course. Didn't you see me?"
He lies "Yes."
He didn't see that. We know he didn't see that. For a second I was like, maybe he just had his eyes closed. Look, I'm grasping at straws people, I know!
But here's the thing. She didn't see his ass either as far as I'm concerned. I mean, seriously, that vision was fuzzy as hell and the dude she marrying is still ridiculously far away on that beach. I mean, really? You're 100% sure you saw Demetri, Zoe? Is your eyesight that good? I guess...
After this, sexy lips Agent Noh struggles with how to deal with this information. Is he dead, like the woman on the phone said, or is he on a beach getting married?
And then it happens, the scene that sparked this random ass review: While working on the investigation, Noh ends up at a future (mess of a) Customs officer's house. The guy, lovable pothead that he is, totally has a bong in full view and begs Demetri not to rat him out. He then admits that Noh has the power to make his future come true.
So of course I yelled "Don't make his future come true!" (and then promptly realized that I was talking to a tv and totally need to get a life) because well, if you can change one thing that means you can change another. And if you can change the future then, if Agent Noh is dead by the blackout, maybe there's a way to stop that from happening. Right? Yea?
Why didn't I think of this before?
Ultimately, we don't yet know what Agent Noh does, or doesn't do, about the Customs Agent but I'm left wondering why no one in Flashforward is rebelling against their future. Everyone seems to be hastening the future to come (because they're happy at the outcome) or cowering in fear of it. But not one person so far is actively trying to change it. Why? Wouldn't you want to try and "fix" the future if you were separated from your wife or, you know, DEAD? I would. So why is no one in Flashforward-land?
This is my plot dilemma: Is Flashforward ignoring basic human instincts? Or am I overestimating them?
Would you fight?
But yea, then there's the whole sci-fi thing about knowing the future: You know, if you rebel, you actually create the future that you're trying to avoid. Or some other crazy shit...
Maybe I'm jumping the gun a bit. The last scene might offer some clues about what's happening next. While at first Demetri was creeped out by the idea that he and Zoe planned to marry on "D-Day," by the end of the episode he's done a 180 and decided to make it official. He says they should book it and ultimately gives into her blackout vision and possibly his death.
"I want us to make our future happen," he says. I gush.
And while at first it sounds like he's essentially willing his murder to happen. Maybe he's not. Maybe, just maybe, he's saying damn my (possible) murder, we're going to believe in your dream.
NBC's new half hour comedy Community hasn't received too much hype, even though it airs in the channel's coveted Thursday night comedy block. Personally I only thought to give it a try because Joel McHale is funny, but just as soon as I decided to watch it, I forgot about it completely. But I happened to catch Yvette Nicole Brown's interview on The Wendy Williams Show and promptly set my dvr. And thank god I did, because this shit is hilarious.
Sadly, I then immediately forgot that about it again (am I too young for senility?) and missed the second episode. But I was lucky enough to catch the show on Bravo thanks to NBC's media domination. And if it was possible to top the introduction of Abed, the Indian dude with Aspergers, and Chevy Chase as creepy older hippy Pierce who has a bit of a thing for Shirley (Brown), they did so with this little nugget of fabulousness. Meet Senor Chang (Ken Jeong), the Asian Spanish Teacher:
In his first appearance Senor Chang lays it down, getting right to the heart of your Asian stereotypes and the supposed incongruity of having an Asian man teaching Spanish. Because I can't find the clip anywhere anymore (damn NBC and their copyright protections!) I've decided to transcribe it for you.... Seriously! It's that good.
Every once in a while a student will come up to me and ask Senor Chang, why do you teach Spanish? They say it just like that. Why do you teach Spanish? Why you? Why not math? Why not photography? Why not martial arts? I mean surely it must be in my nature to instruct you in something that's ancient and secret like oh building a wall that you can see from outer space. Well I'll tell you why I teach Spanish. It is none of your business ok? Now I don't wanna have any conversations about what a mysterious inscrutable man I am. [plays with imaginary long, white beard] oheheheheheohohohohoh I am a spanish genius. En espanol my nickname is el tigre chino [pretending to bite Shirley's neck] because my knowledge will bite her face off. So don't question Senor Chang or you'll get bit, ya bit, ya bit!... Ok, Friday manana...
At first I wasn't sure where this monologue was going and I am a bit lost on where it ended up. But the more I listened the more I realized that Senor Chang was blowing my mind. All of a sudden, he was killing me softly and I was on the floor dying laughing. "Why not karate?" The "mysterious" Asian man... oh sweet lord in heaven, you like me and this proves it!
Senor Chang's outburst says a lot about how we understand race, nationality and language. I've talked about this before but this dude is so funny that I had to do it again.
Why do his students get all confuddled about having an Asian Spanish teacher? Well, you know... he's Asian first of all. Shouldn't he be teaching Japanese or Cantonese or, you know, some Asian language?
That has got to be one of the dumbest sentences I've ever had to write just because it requires looking at the world with such massive blinders I don't know how you don't run into multiple walls.
But also because comments like these presume that only Asian people speak Asian languages, only Latinos speak Spanish and only someone of a particular racial group should teach that language. This also supposes that you've never looked around you and seen what different kinds of people lay claims to what it means to be an American. And everyone from Norcal knows that when you're in high school you have two foreign language options, Spanish or French. And if you know like I know, Spanish is just barely a foreign language in some parts of the U.S.
I am an admitted tv hound. I love tv more than I love most personal interactions. Hell I can probably track all of the most interesting/monumental changes of my life to a tv show.
TV rules my world and my friends are totally starting to catch on.
And... because of that I've decided to compile a list of must-see tv... No not that bullshit nbc two-hour block. Like tv that I love. TV that I crave. TV that I would actually buy on dvd...
So heeeeere we go: (oh yea, and I don't cross reference... deal)
Sci-Fi or syfy (dumbest move ever!):
Roswell
Smallville*
Supernatural*
Firefly
Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel
Moonlight
Night Stalker
Battestar Galactica
Stargate
Blade: The Series
New Amsterdam
Journeyman
The 4400
Dead Like Me (skip the straight to dvd movie and come up with your own ending... trust me)
Dark Angel
Eureka* (it's getting a bit hinky now, but it started off great)
Blackalicious:
Living Single
In Loving Color
A Different World
Half & Half
Girlfriends (right up until Toni Childs leaves... nothing worth knowing after that)
Noah's Arc
Dramedy:
Sex and the City
Californication*
The United States of Tara*
Big Shots (they just won't give a brother a chance... um, or a sista. whatever)
Leverage*
Veronica Mars
As Opposed to Total Drama Island (my niece's fave show):
The Wire
Six Feet Under
Big Love*
The L Word
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Law & Order*
Burn Notice*
The Closer*
ER (right to the end... don't you judge me!)
One Tree Hill* (until they get rid of Leyton and I get rid of them)
Sleeper Cell
House*
Laugh your arse off:
Psych*
Pushing Daisies
30 Rock*
Arrested Development
Chapelle Show (season 1 only)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia*
Lucky Louie (sometimes one season is more than enough)
Cheerio! or They Came From Across the Pond:
Hotel Babylon
Green Wing
Teachers
Are You Being Served?
Bad Girls
Black Books
Skins*
Doctor Who*
Torchwood*
Footballers' Wives (too dishy to miss)
Gavin & Stacey*
Hex
Spooks/MI-5*
Red Dwarf
Spaced
Animatrix'd:
Daria
Aeon Flux
Fraggle Rock
Futurama*
Some Weird Undefinable Shit:
Carnivale
Rome
* indicates a show still on air... it's more than a little telling/sad that all of the shows in Blackalicious are dunzo *sigh*
